Kennel Club Blues/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Kennel Club Blues. Transcript Jason: Houston, mayday! Our ship is under assault by amphibians. And they're hopping mad! Frog: (croaks) Michelle: Look at all these great bugs. An a-number one top notch collection. Jason: Tryguy's still your flies. Michelle: Oh, that'd be fun, Jason. Let's make our own zoo. Our motto could be, "Every bug under the sun." We could catch butterflies, and bluebirds. Jason: And crocodiles. And wooly mammoths! Jason and Michelle: We're gonna need a bigger jar! (laugh) Grandmum: What a wonderful thing it is to hear the sound of children's laughter on such a glorious day. Michelle: Look, Grandmum, I caught some ladybugs. Jason: And an amphibious invader. Frog: (croaks) Grandmum: What fun. You know, I believe there's an old fish tank in the attic somewhere. A bit of dirt, a few plants, makes a charming little creature home. It's called a terrarium. This way, you create a place that's just like the bugs' home. It's nicer than a jar. Michelle: But, Grandmum, they're a bunch of bugs. Jason: And one bug-eater. Michelle: Do we really need to make a special place for them? They're just bugs. Grandmum: Oh, bugs are God's creatures, too. If you make them pet, you need to take care of them. The good book says, "A righteous man has regard for his animal." That means, a good person makes sure his pets have homes, where their needs are taken care of properly, so they're healthy and happy. Michelle: Making a garden for them sounds complicated, Grandmum. I just want a good collection. Grandmum: But is a jar really a home, poppet? If what you offer isn't a home, well they should live free to find their own. Jason: I think a terrarium sounds very cool. Come on, Grandmum, let's go find it. Grandmum: Alright, come along. Let's get started. Michelle: If I put them in a terrerium with dirt and leaves, they'll just hide. What's the point of having a great collection? I have regard for my animals. I just want to be able to see them. Ha! Gotcha! Wow, you're a big one. Zidgel: Captain's blog, stardate, summer. We've just picked up Michelle, and Kevin is stuck in a jar...again. Of course, (grunts) we're not really worried. Once, Kevin spent three days stuck in a bottle of lemon juice. (grunts) Sure, he was all puckered up when he finally got out, but boy, could he whistle. (grunts) Well, his bunk can be much smaller. Michelle: There. Zidgel: I must have loosened it up for you. Midgel: Well, are you willing to help us? Michelle: Help you? With what? Fidgel: Oh, my. Kevin was supposed to show you something. Show her now, Kevin. Michelle: Lost cato'pillow. Wait, our mission is to rescue a lost kitty? Fidgel: A cato'pillow, actually. Zidgel: And then return it safely to the emperor of Planet Kennel. Michelle: How fun! I'm great with animals! You should see my bug collection. I keep them in this jar, like the one Kevin was stuck in. Answers to "79". 79? What's that mean? Fidgel: We believe it's the poor creature's name. Michelle: 79? Yuck! What kind of name is that for a little kitty? Zidgel: Pfff, well, it's a whole lot better than "Zidgel". Zidgel: I mean, for a kitty. "Zidgel" is a perfectly acceptable name for a penguin, of course. What did you name your bugs? Michelle: I didn't. Maybe I should have. What's this? "When found, open locket for reward." Midgel: We figured the emperor must have added the reward later. Fidgel: And so, we've decided to add the reward notice to the new posters we're making as well. Midgel: We've been posting them at roadside beacons all along the space ways. We're coming up on another one now. Midgel: Captain, we got an incoming message from Central Command. Zidgel: Ooh, (clears throat) put it onscreen with HD million point two stereo multi-surround sound and 3D high definition super vision. Fidgel: How about on fax paper with toner. Zidgel: Uh, right. Michelle and Kevin: (giggle) Zidgel: Hey, paper is very high tech! I've heard of people making airplanes out of this stuff! Midgel: What's it say? Fidgel: It says that a mysterious figure was at the lounge this morning. Midgel: Really? Fidgel: Yes! Zidgel: And he bought-- Fidgel: A gold locket from another customer for a golden cato'pillow, the stranger had said. Michelle: Wow! That sounds exactly like 79! Did they see which way he went? Zidgel: Toward the Cat--! Fidgel: Toward the Catnip Nebula. Zidgel: Stop that! This is my message and I should be the one that gets to tell everyone what it says! Understand? Fidgel: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Zidgel: Alright, then, now, where were we? Stranger...locket...golden...nebula. Ah! Here we are! (clears throat) Sincerely, Commander Strap. Awww! Michelle: I bet 79's at the Catnip Nebula! Fidgel: You know, I believe that you are correct! Midgel: Then, to the nebula, it is! Bons--! Zidgel: Now, wait! I'm the captain! I get to yell something around here! Bird's eye! Rockhopper crew: Bonsai! Michelle: There are so many of them! It's like a cato'pillow collection! Zidgel: I'll bet that there are more than four of them! Fidgel: There are precisely 157 cato'pillows out there at the present time. Zidgel: Ha! I was right! Midgel: How are we ever gonna find number 79 in this swarm? Zidgel: How about we send Kevin out there as a big cat toy? Fidgel: Uh, negative, Captain. They're all cats, so they'll all want the cat toy. Zidgel: Okay, but one of them will be 79, right? Michelle: I've got an idea! Michelle: 79! Here, 79-9-9-9-9! Michelle: I said I was good with animals. Kevin: Don't worry, 79, we'll take good care of you. Michelle: You know, 79 isn't really a name. It's a number. I'll call you Goldie, for your golden locket. Midgel: Alright, Goldie, hold on, we're headin' home! Bonsai! Cavitus: Everything is going exactly as planned. Soon, the penguins will be penguins no more! (evil laughter) I can just hear those ridiculous penguins now. (in falsetto) Get the reward! Get the reward! Hurry! Open the locket, Smidgel, or Blidgel, (in normal voice) or whatever your name is. Oh, come on, now. You can go ahead and laugh, that was pretty funny. Minions: (forced laughter) Cavitus: Good. Good. But not as good as the looks on the penguins' faces when they open that locket, and poof! (in falsetto) Oh, no! Look, I'm a hamster! Oh, no! (in normal voice) That was funny. You can laugh again. Minion #1: But, master. You are a hamster. Minion #2: See? Hamster. Bert: Of course I know I'm a hamster! Cavitus: Don't you remember putting that powder into the gold locket? The powder will turn anyone who touches it into a hamster. Remember? Minion #1: Well, yeah. I bought that golden locket. Minion #2: To put the hamster powder in! Cavitus: Right! I knew, because I'm an evil genius, that when the penguins found that cat creature, they'd open the locket for the reward, touch the powder, and poof! Three, two, one, hamsters! No more penguins, no more problems. Minion #1: Uh, but why hamsters, boss? Cavitus: Because then, those foolish penguins will finally know what it is to be me. (evil laughter) Minions: (evil laughter) Cavitus: No! Stop that. The evil laughter I do by myself. (evil laughter) Zidgel: Captain's blog, thanks to Cadet Michelle, we've retrieved the missing pet and are flying just zippity-kazoom to get her back home. Goldie: (meows) Fidgel: Very strange. It's almost as if Goldie doesn't wish to return home. Midgel: That can't be right, doctor. There's got to be something else. Fidgel: Hmmm, my readings indicate a high level of physical and emotional stress. Michelle: Oh, I'm sure she's just anxious to get home. Guys, stop worrying, I'm the one that knows animals, remember? Zidgel: Hey, I just remembered that there's a reward in that locket. Fidgel: No, no, Captain. Technically, Michelle was the one who recaptured the creature. Midgel: That's right, you earned it, Michelle. Kevin: Ooh, open it, open it! Michelle: I don't want it. I didn't rescue Goldie for a reward. I did it because she's just so cute. Kevin: Me too. Midgel: Me three. Fidgel: Me four. Zidgel: Me seventeen percent! Michelle, Midgel, Fidgel, and Kevin: Five! Zidgel: (groans) I've always been bad at math. Zidgel: For a place called Planet Kennel, there sure aren't very many animals aro-- Emperor: Welcome! I'm the emperor of--there she is! You were very bad to wander off. The whole collection just hasn't been the same without ya. Michelle: Collection? Emperor: Oh, yes. I've got the most extensive collection of cato'pillows in the galaxy. And 79 is an important part of it. Michelle: Actually, your majesty, I kinda named her Goldie. After her gold locket. Emperor: How nice. Well, come inside. Come inside. Empreror: Impressive, isn't it? Emperor: I'm the only one to have cato'pillows organized into patterns. See? Blue, gold, blue, gold, blue, gold! There. The pattern is complete again. Michelle: Wow, that's amazing! Emperor: Yes, well, this kennel houses hundreds o Category:Transcripts Category:3-2-1 Penguins! transcripts